A fairy tale...

It was 10 at night and my belly was roaring and grumbling, longing for food. I tiptoed down the stairs to my old dining table and oh yes.. there you were, the left-over of McD's french fries and one piece of spicy fried chicken. As piece by piece of the french fries disappeared into my mouth, I gave a deep thought of love, life and inspiration (macam P.Ramlee the musical pulak). Without realising of how much calo n cole burgeoning in my stomach and bloodstream, i kept munching and lost, deep in my thoughts. And how long was Ammar been sitting right beside me, I didn't realised - enjoying the same food that I was consuming. Ammar! Dah pukul baper ni?? Esok nak sekolah, ada assembly! Yeah right, like he knew and paid any attention! So both of us enjoyed the food and lost in our own dreams...

Life is not like a fairy tale after all. And if it was, it's gonna be a 'fairy tale yang terluka'... Sometimes life is so cruel and unfair, some people got money, bunch of money but no happiness, some people have no money and been given with bunch of kids to make them happy, some cherish this God's little creature by giving them all the love that they have, some might be so cruel and give no attention at all.. some are rich and could do anything with the money that they have but death is waiting at the doorstep... that is us, a human., and that is life - for us to cherish and fulfill with every little kindness, useful thing and for us to be grateful and thankful to our Creator - Allah the Almighty.

As to my son - the unfairness that life treats him is that of being himself! He's always been a scapegoat of the bad things that had been done by his cousins... If they broke and ruinned anthing in the house, so it's Ammar's doing! And that poor little boy couldn't defend himself coz he didn't care less and won't give a damn! What a mean cousins!

As for my husband, the unfairness that life treats him is... (is that by marrying me? hem, I never knew...)

As for me, the only unfairness life treats me is - I'm so trapp inside this huge and ugly body and I couldn't get out!

As for the three of us - we are doing fine actually, I am so thankfull to every little and more of what's God gives us.... Alhamdulillah...

I was thinking of the kind of love that my arwah ayah and mak were sharing. There was no hugging, no kissing, not much of the communication and I can't remember if there was a love-passion at all (in their eyes la...) . But my mak never failed to wait for my arwah Ayah even if it was like 1.00 am in the morning - waiting for him to return home from his hobby of fishing! And my mak would heating up the food for her husband, sat beside him while he was eating and chatting about their kids, n most of all about their financial situation. And arwah Ayah never failed to give mak a sum of money after he got a pay for his plantation's work. That was the love that they shared - by knowing their own roles as parents, husband n wife, by giving and caring, and that was a very reserved kind of love sharing. As to me? huh, I failed to be like mak! When hubby was on the night shift and returns home like 1.00 - 2.00 a.m in the morning, I'm always so deep in my sleep, don't kacau2 ar! So be it, and I will remind him to take his dinner as early as possible at office! At 1.00 a.m., the kitchen is closed! So what? Got to wake up early in the morning for work maa!.....

Kenapa nak cakap omputih hari ni? Monday blues agaknya....