In Loving Memory...

Kehilangan insan tersayang memang amat memedihkan. Hanya yang mengalaminya yang tahu bagaimana perasaannya. I've lost my Ayah belasan tahun yang lalu, hampir lupa bagaimana perasaannya bila diberitahu Ayah dah meninggal. But for sure I didn't shed a single tear on the spot. I just felt like I was in some empty spaces like that. When I reached home and only saw an empty van jenazah, without his body (baru saja dikebumikan), and bila pergi bilik air and I saw his cloth in a laundry basket, I gathered them and hugged and kissed them as if I hugged my father, then only, I cried my heart out. I swear I could smell him, as if he was there when I did that. And I hoarsely whispered, 'Maafkan kita Ayah'. I was 21 then. And Years after that....

Hari Khamis 15th Sept, memang ingat nak balik kampung. Pulang dari kerja nak ambil Ammar ngan Aly, I received a phone call from my niece, saying my elder sister, Kak Yah satu family met with an accident. It was bad. Her kids, Insyirah cedera parah dan Hazim koma. Rasanya my heart skipped a beat for seconds. Malam tu, konvoi ngan my 2 other sisters sefamili balik Kuantan pukul 12 a.m plus, sampai 3.00 a.m. plus. Pagi terus gerak ke Kuala Terengganu, to Hospital Tuanku Zahirah to be exact. Both my sister n BIL takde apa2, but their 2 kids teruk. Insyirah, 9 yrs old, seriously injured, wad 5 and her younger brother, Hazim, 7 yrs old, in critical condition, koma dlm wad ICU. It was a heart wrenched seeing my niece and nephew, lying limply n helplessly on the hospital bed, unconscious. Can't imagine how those little bodies of them could endure the pain. We said nothing but cried....


Little Hazim... My darling Hazim... his brain was dead, internal injury, broken bones everywhere, doc didn't give a hope at all, my sis pasrah, never left him lama-lama coz she was afraid her son would 'leave' her when she wasn't there... My sis is one tabah lady, never stop recite Yaasin and kept whispering syahadah to her son. Since it was ICU ward, we were only allowed to visit one person at a time. I said nothing but hugged her tight. I'm not good at consoling people, takut lagi menambahkan sayu dihati. I couldn't hold back my tears as I heard she said 'dia dah nak tinggalkan aku, Yong'... I only whispered "kalau itu dah janji dia pada tuhan..' and she nodded. I kissed Hazim and his face was so cold. His face was purely sweet, bercahaya and calm. His breath was steady, though di support dgn machine. His only pulse kept him stayed alive, blood counting kept turun. Last adrenalin doc bagi utk tgk respond dia, then BP naik balik, and then,counting down back and, on the 4th day, Sunday the 18th, his little body couldn't stand anymore longer. He passed away, peacefully at 7.30 a.m., before the medical team decided to stop the life-support machine. Innalillahiwainnailahirajiun.... Dari Allah kita datang, kepadaNya kita kembali.


My sis, dah kering airmata. Insyirah seriously, badly injured but stable. Tulang kaki dia patah 3 and 12 skru dipasang. Skull fracture, kepala dia bengkak and tangan patah. On our last day in KT, dia sedar, and it was the day her brother died.... luckily I didn't witnessed dia sedar sbb dia meraung kesakitan...If I were there, ya Allah aku pun menangis sama, I can't bear to hear a child crying in pain...




The vehicle yg terlibat... My BIL nak elakkan lopak air atas highway, terlanggar divider and MPV ni berpusing berkali2. Panic stricken, he wanted to press the break but tertekan minyak. Insyirah and Hazim were tossed out from the MPV. Hazim jatuh dekat divider and Insyirah atas rumput. Now, can you imagine the impact yang dialami oleh the kids from the incident? Sampai cermin ni pecah... Ya Allah tak dapat dibayangkan kesakitannya. Luckily, their eldest brother, Haziq, yg ada dlm MPV tu, tersedar masa bapa dia terlanggar divider tu dan automatik berpaut kt holder kt tepi. My sis, BIL and Haziq tak ada apa2 but the other 2...


Selepas hospital uruskan jenazah, jenazah Hazim di bawa terus ke Setiu, at their home for burial.


My little darling, resting in peace. Tgh bersiap untuk sembahyang jenazah.


Kasih bapa... my BIL, right, opened the kain kapan for us to see Hazim for the last time, but he, didn't have the courage to look at his son, he left as soon as he opened it. Dia terlalu sedih, masa kt wad pun he didn't stay beside his son, with tears streaming down his cheek, dia cakap, "Adik dah tak de...tak de harapan". He kept blaming himself of what happened.


Their eldest sister, Syifaq, Form 1, studying at Imtiyaz, Terengganu. They were on their way to pick Syifaq when the incident happened. Syifaq was also blaming herself of what happened, ini kawan2 sekolah Syifaq dtg satu bas, sejuk rasa hati dengar mereka recite Quran whatnot. Aku pun sebenonya ada cita2 nak hantar anak ke Tahfiz, buat bekalan doakan utk kita bila kita dah takde....


Perjalanan terakhir 'Adik'...

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In happier time...


Hazim (left) and Insyirah (right). Both were cheeky, bright and bubbly. Tu yang terasa sangat2 kehilangan Hazim. Hazim kalau beli apa2 nak sebut dalam nilai Yen aje... Cakap macam bertih goreng.. oh how we miss him!


Arwah Hazim and cousins berendam dlm kolam kt umah dia. Sebab umah diorang ni letak jauh dr jiran2, so tak ramai kawan dari kejiranan, kalau we all datang umah dia, memang diorang suka sangat2, sampai my BIL buat kolam suka2 ni utk umpan kami datang, anak aku mmg sukalah kalau datang Setiu ni. Pagi, petang, siang, malam dok berendam.
Hazim, Makndak rindu sangat kt Hazim, tak puas cium Hazim sebelum Hazim disemadikan tuk selama-lamanya hari tu. Rest in peace little mujahid, tempatmu sudah pasti di Sana!

Aku, sedang belajar untuk tidak terlalu sayangkan anak-anak, takut aku jadi separuh gila kalau mereka tinggalkan aku. Aku tak setabah Kak Yah, tp hanya tuhan yang tahu hati dia. Setabah-tabah dia, lepas Hazim dikebumikan dia meracau juga. Siapa yang tak trauma kehilangan anak? Nak2 dia sendiri yang angkat anak dia dari bawah divider jalan. Ya Allah, kau berilah kekuatan kepada mereka sekeluarga dlm menghadapi ujian besar ini. Amin.

Comments

Normi Ali said…
Salam Yong, takziah dr saya dan keluarga, banyak mana sayang kita kpd arwah, takkan sama kasih Allah padanya. Dari Dia kita dtg, kepadaNya jua kita kembali-- Al- Fatihah.
Salam Takziah buat Yong sekeluarga.
Setelah mendengar berita ini,rasa insaf yang amat sangat.Musibah yang menimpa memang tiada di duga. Semoga Yong dan keluarga banyak2 bersabar.
still in searching mode for continue my writing...yes..makteh mmg tabah..tp tiada manusia biasa yg boleh menerima kehilangan org tersayang...terigt sat2 arwah membontoti org kemana saja pagi raya gara2 nk tuntut janji nk main ngn sugar glider..he is animal lover!!and regret sebab org bg mcm2 alasan nk elak dr ye main SG tu...
Muna said…
Salam takziah untuk Puan Yong sekeluarga dan Al-fatihah untuk little Hazim.
Yong Kamariah said…
Dear Normi,
Timakasih Normi. Betul apa Normi ckp tu, takkan sama kasih Allah padanya, dia dah selamat, tempatnya dah pasti, kita yg tinggal nilah yg kena pastikan bekalan ke sana plak.

Kak Iha dearie,
Timakasih kak. Mmg benar sometimes benda yg nak berlaku jauh, jauh dr jangkaan kita, ada hikmahnya disebalik semua yg berlaku itu kan.

Miss Azni sweetie,
You'll find your strength, sooner dear. Kamu yang banyak kenangan dgn Hazim, of course terkenang2 kan arwah. Nanti kita amik cuti panjang sket pi Setiu kasi moral support kt makteh.

Dear lovely Kak Muna,
Terimakasih ya, and tq for dropping by juga. (and oh, I'm yr silent reader for so long, love your foodie pix n sume pix lah!)
Maya Marisa said…
Meleleh air mata i yong, baca ur entry nie. Deepest sympathy & condolence to ur sister & al-fatihah for the arwah.
Bergenang & terus meleleh air mata aku Yong....


Salam takziah.
Al-fatihah buat arwah.
PatinPasta said…
Yong,
So sad, was crying when I was reading your entry.

Al-Fatihah to your sister, you and your whole family.
sedihnya baca n3 ni...takziah buat keluarga...Al-fatihah.
~jeet~ said…
salam kak yong, harap tabah ye, insyaallah dia dah aman kat sana,

~bila tgk kejadian macam ni, mulalah dok teringat sy bwk anak2 sedara tak pakai seat belt, especially yang duduk belakang, confirm tercampak kalo ada high impak collision camni, nauzubillah..
Yong Kamariah said…
Dear all,

Terimakasih for your wish, dari Allah kita datang kepadaNya jua kita kembali, life goes on, kita yang tinggal teruskan perjalanan hidup ini dgn tabah.
arapink said…
salam Yong...

salam takziah juga. Ara dah mengalaminya 5 bulan lepas bila abah kesayangan Ara meninggalkan kami sekeluarga....

Ara rasa seluruh jiwa Ara hilang :-( Al-fatihah buat abah & arwah Hazim
Yong Kamariah said…
Dear Ara,

Terimakasih.
Mati itu pasti. Semoga Ara juga tabah menghadapi kehilangan insan tersayang, ayah pula tu, maunya tak rasa macam tu, takziah ye.

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