Saturday, May 12, 2012

Sekalung Budi Segunung Intan....Happy Mother's Day!

It's Saturday and I'm working... so much so of mother's day for working mom eh?
 
 So I woke up early this morning, preparing the one and only dishes which can lasts until I came home from office. Maklumlah nak tinggalkan Apak eh ngan anak2 khen.... The legendary sambal udang petai...

 
 And sepoyok nasik lemak... errr tak masak lagik masa snap gambonya..

 So that after I left for office, they woke up and found this bawah tudung saji...taraaa.....enjoy your breakfast and lunch everybody....belasah je lah pinggan budak2 ni, tu yg paling senang capai dlm kabinet pun...

and me too... enjoying the tapauan di office... hope they enjoy it at home too....eh Ammar, sorrylah Ummi pinjam bekas bekal ko ni sbb dlm banyak2 tupperware, ni dulu yg tercapainya ngehngeh...

What I wanna jot down here is actually a dedication entry for mother's day. 3 ladies with 3 different stories.

1. Emak's Story


Meet my biological mother yg ku panggil emak. Emak, you are my pillar, my solid rock. Emak came from a split family, she was raised by one relative to another. The only child in a family, yet having few step siblings then when her mom dan dad got re-married, but never been brought up neither by his late father, nor mom. Menumpang kasih-sayang sedara-mara. Hidup dia sangat susah masa muda. When she got married dengan arwah ayah, kehidupan masih susah, arwah ayah macam-macam kerjanya, he was nelayan when he met my mother. Kadang-kadang berhari-hari ke laut meninggalkan emak dengan their first 3 children yg masih kecil ketika itu. Aku masih ingat waktu emak menceritakan kepayahan hidup mereka ketika itu. Suatu hari,  duit, bekalan makanan semua sudah habis, yg tinggal hanyalah sedikit tepung, arwah ayah pula belum pulang dari laut. Anak-anak kelaparan. Mak bercadang nak buat roti canai, tapi bahan yang ada hanyalah tepung semata. Emak pergi ke kedai kopi yang berdekatan, mak minta bekas tin susu pekat dari toke kedai sebelum ianya dibuang. Bila ditanya emak kata nak buat tin pelita. Hakikatnya sampai dirumah mak kikis sisa2 susu yg masih ada utk dicampurkan dlm adunan tepung. Kenyang anak-anak emak hari itu. Malam pula, bekalan minyak tanah tiada, bergelap rumah emak satu malam, anak-anak menangis kelaparan dalam kegelapan. Bila jiran2 tanya kenapa anak2 menangis? Mak kata budak2 takut gelap. Mak buat apa yang dia hanya tahu ketika itu, menceritakan kisah2 dongeng sehinggalah anak-anak emak terlelap. Keesokan harinya, demi meneruskan kelangsungan hidup, mak meranduk kawasan bakau, mencari buah kemunting untuk dijual, ketika itu emak terjumpa wang RM5, yg sudah basah dibawa air. RM5 sudah cukup besar ketika itu. Bersyukur emak ketika itu lalu bawa duit itu kerumah utk dikeringkan. Mak pergi kedai beli beras, tepung dan gula. Tiba-tiba rumah emak dikunjungi seorang lelaki yang sgt daif keadaanya, minta makanan kelaparan. Emak kata kita bahagi dua barang-barang yang dibelinya. Sebab mak tahu duit yang dijumpanya itu bukan hak mutlaknya tapi harus dikongsi bersama insan yg memerlukan. Tuhan maha kaya, keesokan harinya, arwah Toki yg tak pernah melawat mak datang ke teratak emak. Kebetulan Toki bawa bot ke Kuala Pahang ketika itu. Arwah Toki agak senang, ada bot sendiri, hasil tangkapan mungkin lebih hari tu, Toki sedekahkan emak duit RM50. Mengalir airmata mak. Bersyukur seadanya, dalam kepayahan tuhan mengirimkan sedikit rezeki, mungkin sebab emak tak tamak dgn rezeki 'terpijak'nya sebelum ini. Betapa tuhan sentiasa menguji kita, walau kita rasa ianya bagai kisah dongengan semata. Anak-anakku, mungkin Awe takkan pernah akan menceritakan ini kepadamu, tapi ketahuilah kisah pahit asal-usul keturunanmu supaya kamu bersyukur dengan nikmat yang kau dapat pada hari ini.

Tapi kini keadaan emak jauhhh lebih senang dari dulu. Anak-anak alhamdulillah pun senang seadanya. Masa mak dan arwah ayah berpindah ke Kuantan, dan menyertai tanah rancangan, jiran-jiran tetangga ada yang memandang sinis kerana mak dan arwah ayah berjimat-cermat menyimpan duit sebab anak-anak belajar sana-sini. Manakan yang belajar di universitinya, manakan yang belajar dan tinggal di asrama lagi, semuanya nak pakai duit.  Keadaan mereka masih dalam kepayahan. Emak dan arwah ayah amat mementingkan pendidikan, tak mahu anak-anak susah seperti mereka. Ketahuilah anak-anakku, arwah datukmu asalnya adalah anak orang berada di daerahnya dulu dengan tanah pusaka yg berekar2, tapi To'ki, arwah datukmu, the only child, tinggalkan semuanya bila arwah bapanya meninggal, kerana ibu2 dan bapa2 saudaranya bertelingkah kerana harta. Dia merantau ke Pahang untuk mencari jatidiri barangkali. Atau muak dengan pertelingkahan kerana harta. Dan tak pernah kembali lagi ke kampung halamannya sehinggalah dia sudah tua. Ini sebagai iktibar kepadamu supaya kau tahu, kebahagian bukanlah berkiblatkan harta semata-mata, kita adakalanya perlu melalui kepayahan dahulu sebelum menemui sebuah kebahagian.

 Tapi alhamdulillah, anak2 masih cukup makan dan pakainya. Orang lain dapat duit sibuk besarkan rumah dsb, tapi mak dan arwah ayah demi anak-anak masih bersyukur dengan teratak usang mereka. Anak-anak orang lain indah -berindah bertukarganti pakaiannya, basikalnya, tapi kami adik-beradik pakai baju waris-mewarisi dari kakak-abangnya. Dan hasilnya kini mak dan arwah ayah boleh berbangga, anak-anak dah berjaya, rumah pusaka dah besar, dan ladang masih gah disitu. Mana jiran-jiran yang memandang hina dulu ada anak-anaknya yang ditahan di pusat serenti, anak dara kawin muda sebab dah ditebuk tupainya... Tapi emak tak pernah mendabik dada. Bersyukur seadanya. Duit hasil ladang tinggalan arwah ayah mak masih dapat merasainya lagi setiap bulan. Tak termakan duit itu semua. Tapi emak kata bila dah senang tak dapat pula nak merasai nikmatnya, at 70, mak diabetes tegar, dah uzur. Emak, selagi hayat dikandung badan, jasamu puan takkan kulupa...emak, emaklah ratu hatiku selamanya...Terimakasih tak pernah cukup utk menzahirkan pengorbananmu selama ini...Selamat Hari Ibu Permaisuri Hatiku!....

3. The Nanny's story...

Satu hari, ketika ambil anak2 dinursery, aku lihat kelibat yang aku kenali tidak lama dahulu. It's Angah! Kata aku.... tapi kenapa terlalu kurus dan cengkung???? Nursery tempat aku hantar Aleesya dan Ammar ini ada beberapa branch di beb. tempat, jadi pengasuh kadangkala silih berganti kecuali pengurusnya. Aku bersembang dengan Umi Ton, pengurus nursery. I was speechless dan felt like someone punched me hard on my face after learning what's happening to her. She's with breast cancer, at stage 3. So young!!!  I can't afford to loose another one of my kids' nanny. Sebelum ini, bekas pengasuh Ammar, N, passed away about a couple of years ago due to complication after gave birth to her first and only child. I remember the day I visited her at a hospital, she acted as nothing happened, macam tak sakit, ceria aje, padahal she went thru numbers of surgery, buangkan rahim, and then usus dia effected, dikeluarkan, dan dimasukkan balik ke dalam... ya Allah, she was totally 'abused' like she was a fish, the hell with the doctors! When I was informed that she has passed away, lutut ini rasa terus lemah tak berdaya nak berdiri, I swore I could still see her smiling weakly the last time I visited her. And I swore I could still hear her sweet voice apologizing to me sbb marahkan Ammar bila Ammar buat perangai di nursery. I never took anything at heart whenever they scold Ammar at nursery because I know my son. Calang2 orang boleh bersabar dengan budak autistic. But they never scold him physically, that's for sure. That's why aku masih setia dengan nursery ini. Then I think of her small baby, motherless... how she wanted to be held warmly into her mother's arm, merasai susu ibunya sehingga tertidur kekenyangan...it was so sad... it tore my heart into pieces seeing her small baby....


And now thinking of Angah....she also acts like nothing happened. And now she is a mother of 2! 2 small kids, the youngest is 9 months. She is separating with them by staying at this nursery. I know it's hard, when she thinks of her two kids all the time, must be missing them like crazy. Now her 'madu' is taking care of her kids. This isolation is totally because of her baby, it is a training to bercerai susu. But I guess it is also a preparation... ohh I can't go on.... Now that she can't breastfeed her youngest, the madu is giving the baby a bottle. Kalau tidak, ada momnya baby tak mahu bottle, she insists her mom's. Angah told me that masa baby dalam 6-7 bulan, baby muntah keluar darah, it is due to her cancer-related condition. I guess she knew then that she's having a cancer. owhhh....but they all sangat redha... no wonder, they are the much 'that religous group', so ishhhhhh.... I better drop that.


Angah, can't thank you enough by taking care of Ammar when he was small. Akak doakan kesihatan Angah semakin pulih, just hang on there, hangin tough because of your kids. Can't afford to loose you, adikku sayang. You teach me hidup adalah memberi sebanyak yang mungkin. Though you are collapsing inside.
Anak-anakku, ingatlah tangan-tangan yang pernah membelaimu ketika kecil, walau mungkin tidak sehangat belaian bonda kandungmu sendiri. Tapi tangan-tangan itulah yang memandikanmu, menyuapkanmu, dan mendodoikanmu ketika tidur.....Happy mother's day lovelies!

3. ......And I've seen bad mom this week. Enough said it makes me sick.

video
But I also seen a wonderful, wonderful, awesome mom. I'm pretty sure many of you have seen this vid.  Berjuraian airmata ini kala menyaksikan video ini. Lady, whoever you are, I feel for you. I can see her eyes penuh sarat dengan kasih sayang yang tak berbelah bahagi. Look at her note, "Those judgmental glances and whispers don't really bother me anymore". And yes, I've been thru that stage before, believe me, I was heartbroken, so many times. Tiap kali bawa Ammar bertandang ke rumah orang I've got the uncomfortable glances. I even heard some insensitive voices call him "Gila agaknya budak ni", "tak betul" (sambil tangan tunjuk kt otak). Because if you see him personally tiada apa pun yang cacatnya secara physically, but after a few moments, ciri2 autistiknya akan terserlah. So when I told them, dia anak istimewa, I could see the wrinkles at the forehead. Some even said, "istimewalah sangat...". And some said, itulah... hukum karma agaknya... Some said... "tak pandai jaga anak"... At times, Ammar really wanna be friends with some of his peers, but they totally rejected him. Because they called him "budak mental tak betul...". And he cried many, many times, "saying, kenapa dia taknak kawan Ammar?" It broke my heart seeing him wept like that. I know, it hurts, I learn, I swallow the pain...but I never regret having him as my son. Sometimes my husband refuse to bring him to the public but I said it is not fair! He deserves to be treated like a normal person. Once, we were at a hospital menziarahi org sakit, Ammar berlari ke sana-sini, bertepuk2 tangan uncontrollably, there was this lady with her baby in her arms, lari jauh2 sambil holding tight her baby. I understood, it wasn't her fault, trying to protect her loved one from one boy who seemed to be like a 'tak betul' one.

But we are doing fine now. Ammar is getting better nowadays. I guess with so many therapy at school, he progress. It is glad to know that he enjoys the latest bowling and horse riding therapy, he keeps telling me that over and over again!  And with adik who comes into our life unexpectedly, life is so meaningful and blissful... now that I feel.....

Happy mother's day awesome, awesome, mom, if only you were here, i wanna give you and your baby a big, big hug!!! You did the right thing by not aborting him.


Last but not the least.... Good job Ammar! My special boy is getting better with writings I guess, found this note on ipad, obviously written by him, nampak sangat suka ikut mamik pi shopping!

Till we meet again lovelies, Happy Mother's Day to all fantastic, fabulous mom out there! You are the strength of your family! Keep up a good job!

13 comments:

PatinPasta said...

Yong,
Syahdu Baca.

Selamat hari ibu Yong! Keep up all the fantastic and amazing job that you're doing. :)

aida said...

kak yong...

n3 kali ni pun sgt2 taching bila membacanya... semoga kak yong senantiasa di rahmatinya...

Cik Mah... sy mula syg dia ms mula2 sy jumpa dia... harap ada kebahagiaan di hati cik Mah bila melihat kejayaan ank2 tersyg... syg cik mah ketat2

Art lover, cinnamonworldofcolours said...

Aslmkm Yong..
Sedih tetapi proud of your mother..anak semua berjaya. Sesuatu yg anak cucu perlu tau betapa gigihnya seorang ibu utk membesarkan anak2.

Yong.. Your Mum boleh terpilih utk menjadi Ibu Mithali.

'Happy Mother's Day'!

Normi Ali said...

Salam Yong, mengalir air mata saya baca entry kali ini, bila Yong sebut pasal Amar tu saya teringatkan anak buah saya kat shah alam tu, camtu jugak la bila mak ayahnya bawak jenjalan kemana2, mesti ada org yg pandang sinis dan kata memacam, hanya insan yg kuat dan tabah saja yg dpt melayan anak yg istimewa ni Yong, kuatkan semangat yer Yong...

Muna Mahdzar-Fadaaq said...

Salam Yong,
Wishing a you and your mother a very happy mother's day.
Love reading the story about your mom. She's one awesome woman. Salam to your mother.
xoxo

somuffins said...

Yong
Happy mother's day to you, your mum n to all your 'peminat2' setia kat sini ..

Your entry is awesome, I rate A++++ . Thanks for sharing :-)

Yong Kamariah said...

Dear Aida,
tq Da for the kind words!


Dear Aida (aida juga)
Tq Da..
Emak akak cenggitulerr, she has a soft heart, even kena tapau/tipu ngan sedara mara dia pun tak de halnyer haishhh, ingat masa akak umur 7-8 thn gitu sepupu dia dtg nangis2 nak pinjam duit, dia tak de cash nak bg so habih gelang kt tangan dia lurutkan bagi dgn harapan bila ada duit pergilah tebus balik sampai la ni nan adoooo....well I'm sure Cik Mah adores you too...

Yong Kamariah said...

Dear Kak Iha...
Itulah dianya makna pengorbanan seorang ibu, melalui jerih perih sebelum dtgnya kesenangan.
Wahhh besarnya penghargaan tu, but I know semua mothers2 yg melalui zmn kepayahan dulu adalah wirawati-wirawati yg sebenar! thanx for d kind words..

Normi dearie,
Gitulahhh.. hanya yang melaluinya sahaja yg dpt memahaminya...we are the chosen one! Harus cekal dan tabah dengan dugaannya, Happy mother's day Normi! jgn merajuk2 nak lari lagik! tehehehee....anak-anak cenggitulahhh, byk karenahnya, sabo yek Normi and tq...

Yong Kamariah said...

Kak Muna dearie,

Thanks for the sweet words, insyaAllah i will, baru semalam dia potong cake mother's day!
-xoxo- <---boley ke tiru hehehe..

Cik Som dear,
amboiiii rating A++ lagik...lempor flying kiss sebijik muahhh...
happy mother's day to you too...ermmmm lamb shanks tu kiranya celebrate anak-beranak la yer? looks nyum nyum...

~jeet~ said...

kak yong, sori lambat wish, happy belated beday and happy belated mother's day too ;)

kim slm kat bonda kak yong, kata kat dia mokcik rock!! may Allah reward her the best for all the things that she has done, amin...

Yong Kamariah said...

Dear jeet,
akak pun baru perasan komen ko ni.. tq jeet, you are rock too girl! yeyeahhh ~buat sign rock ngan dua belah tangan nih~

intan said...

Kadang2 tergelak sy baca entry ini, sayu pun ada, hanya kita yg hidup dlm suasana autistic faham ini. Mcm dunia xadil utk mereka, tp sesungguhnya Allah Maha Adil lg Mengetahui, apa sebenar disebaliknya. Masyarakat xfaham, klo tgk budak xbehave sikit mula menuding jari kpd parents sbg xberjaya mendidik anak,anak nakal. Faktor sebenar knp terjdnya behaviour tu org xfaham.

Yong Kamariah said...

Salam Intan...

Betul tu Intan, hanya mereka yang mengalaminya sahaja yang memahaminya...tak pe lah, ini ujian dari Allah supaya kita muhasabah diri dan bersabar... autistic ni agak alien bagi public, that's the prob, cannot halang org yg judgmental, if only it was written on the face...
you take care ya Intan!

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